Oh! That's Why I Went Through That Pain

Shortly after my tragedy hit the airways of gossip, I began receiving emails, phone calls, Facebook messages and texts from other women who had experienced the same heartbreak of infidelity. At the time, I was so broken, I could barely respond with an encouraging word and utter a short prayer. For two and half years, I continued to receive correspondence from women who had heard my story and felt safe enough to share their own story.

The problem was, they were asking for help.

This was a problem because I didn’t want to help them. So, I didn’t. I offered the cliché responses and prayed, but beyond that I didn’t help. But the messages would not stop. Eventually, their stories and their faces began to show up in my dreams. I thought about these women constantly as I tried to live my life.

I was well on my way to health and experiencing happiness again. I was thriving, growing, laughing and living. Would God leave me alone? No way!

Finally, the nagging voice of God broke through my walls. Four years ago, on a cold February morning, I woke up from a dead sleep. I already knew what God wanted to do because I dreamed about it all night. As was my custom during the darkest days of my life, I grabbed my coffee, my Bible and journal. This time, God added a new element to my routine and I also added my laptop to the mix.

For hours, I sat at my kitchen table and wrote a treatment program and plan specifically for women who have experienced the devastation of their husband’s infidelity and addiction issues.

The program is called, Flowers in the Desert.

Flowers in the Desert is not your typical “counseling” program.

From the moment women arrive, they are surrounded by the beauty of Colorado, and the love of a team of women who get it. Yes, intense counseling happens as we dig into the why’s and how’s of trauma. In addition to counseling, women are given time to relax, unwind and rest. They are also pampered with beauty treatments that include a pedicure and a full makeover. Why a makeover? Because when your husband cheats on you, you feel like the ugliest piece of trash on the earth. This time is intentional and very therapeutic. At the end of their stay, women are given a “game plan” resource manual to navigate the journey of restoration and healing.

In short, this program is intense, but so intensely life-changing and powerful.

Every day I see brokenness and pain that is hard to comprehend. But I also see miracles. I get to see women who face their greatest pain and conquer it. They are strong, beautiful women who are raising incredible children. These women are crushing it in life. It is a sisterhood of sorts. Not a sisterhood any of us chose, but one where we can humbly say, “This happened to us, but we chose to heal and use our pain for good.”

If you have experienced the pain of infidelity, there is hope! Dates for Flowers in the Desert have been set for 2018. If you are interested in going through the Flowers in the Desert program, contact us. Go to the website, read about the program and pray about coming to Colorado. Scholarships are available.

If you would like to donate and provide a scholarship for a woman to attend a Flowers in the Desert weekend, please contact me.

There is hope and there is life after the heartbreak of infidelity. I promise...